wbw | Welcome

Entry tags:

setting,
welcome

Welcome

You awake on the grass. When you open your eyes, you see that you in the Wood. It is calm here. Quiet. There are no birds singing, nor any other sight or sound of animal life. The sky between the branches is an eternal twilight that lightens and darkens without ever becoming true day and night. Interspersed between the trees are the Pools. Each Pool is only a foot deep at most--enough to splash in, but certainly not deep enough to swim or drown. They are oddly uniform, aside from the occasional Pool here and there that has inexplicably dried out.

As you look around, you notice that a short distance away is what appears to be the remains of a small camp. When you approach, you can see that there are a number of tents that seem to be in excellent condition, and in the middle, a campfire circle with plenty of food supplies around it.

The food replenishes itself when taken.

The fresh water never runs dry.

The sleeping bags and mats within the tents are oddly comfortable and restful.

Welcome to the Wood Between the Worlds.

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Henry scoffs quietly. "I don't recall falling through a looking glass, do--" He stops. Blinks a few times and looks around. Hang on... The trees. The pools. He does know this place, only it's... impossible. Even more impossible than insanely competent but also weirdly stupid kidnappers. C. S. Lewis wrote fiction and Christian allegory and the fantastic places he wrote about aren't real.

He's not speaking his thoughts out loud, but the look on his face is pure shock and disbelief.

That's... a weird reaction. Alex can't even form a snarky reply properly because Henry didn't finish his sentence. He frowns, looking at Henry's face. That's... probably more facial expression than he's seen from Henry, like, ever.

"What?" He smirks, but it's not as solid as he'd like it to be. Because the fact is they don't know what's going on and Henry's being extra weird and that's alarming. "You don't actually think we're in a magical portal universe, do you?"

He means it to come out scornful, but it comes out a little less certain than he'd like it to. They aren't. Right? That's impossible. It definitely has to be impossible.

"It's not possible," he replies, frowning. "Those kinds of things aren't real." He wants to leave it at that, because he knows it's the truth. But the uncertain note in Alex's voice, and the impossibility of their current location--its appearance, the decided lack of PPOs, and the fact that they're both here at all--prompt him to continue.

"But if it were possible. I'd say we were in one of Lewis's magical portal lands."

GO AHEAD AND LAUGH AT HIM ALEX HE KNOWS HE'S BEING RIDICULOUS.

He is being pretty ridiculous. Alex might laugh at him if everything weren't so entirely fucked up.

Instead he just stares, then shakes his head.

"Right." He shifts his weight, back onto his good foot. "Then we better go see if Magic Jesus Lion is waiting for us at the campsite. We wouldn't want to keep him waiting. He might decide we're too interested in lipstick and boys or whatever and keep us out."

"In that case, it will be a quick trip home, won't it?" He's a little surprised that Alex had read through the series far enough to get to Susan's fate, but he shrugs it off, giving him a sidelong little smile. "Don't forget to mention how much you miss your nylons as well. That's sure to seal our fate."

Alex has not read far enough to get to Susan's fate, he's just read the discourse so he could be appropriately angry at Lion Jesus and the man who wrote him. So he gives Henry a confused look.

"The fuck's a nylon? Is that a British thing?"

Henry gives him a mildly confused look. Doesn't everyone know this?

"Extremely thin skin-tone stockings that some women wear?" He motions to his own legs. "Is that not what you call them?"

Alex gives him a blank look. "I think we just call them tights. Or maybe pantyhose? I don't know." He automatically reaches for his phone to either google it or ask June (or both), but he barely has it out before he remembers. No signal. He checks again just in case. Yep.

"I can't believe we're stuck in a goddamn sexist Christian fantasy land without Google."

"'Pantyhose,'" Henry repeats, and grimaces. "What a horrible word." He pulls out his own phone as well, just to sigh at it in dismay. No signal, of course. No anything. It's just a fancy electronic brick at the moment.

"Of course it's possible that we're not in sexist Christian fantasy land. I would prefer to be mistaken." Because if he's right... Then nothing makes sense anymore, because this can't possibly be real.

"Big of you to admit you could be wrong about us being on a magical adventure together." He rolls his eyes. The frustrating part is that, well, it is the best explanation they have so far. It just happens to be impossible.

"Why do you think it's Narnia? Not Wonderland or Oz or whatever?"

He shakes his head. "Not Narnia, exactly. The space between Narnia and our world or Charn." He pauses and shrugs. "Or Wonderland or Oz, I suppose, though obviously neither of those are ever mentioned in the text." He motions to the pools interspersed between the trees. "Each of those is supposed to be a passage to another world if you have the proper key."

Why are you letting him go on about this Alex. This is obviously not a valid theory.

"Huh."

It's not a valid theory except that right now, Alex can't entirely rule it out. Anyway, if what Henry's saying is true....

He yanks the two of them into the nearest pool. Unsurprisingly, they do not end up back home. They just end up wet.

"Alex!" Henry almost let go of him except that he remembered in time about his stupid ankle and managed to keep his grip. He gave him an annoyed look. "You absolute madman. Do you have a magical key? A yellow or green ring? What are you doing?"

“It was worth a shot! And you didn’t say anything about a yellow and green ring.” He shrugs, unapologetic. “Besides, on the off chance you’re right and we are in Narnia, it probably isn’t exactly like the book.”

"No," he agrees. There are several differences already, despite the very obvious similarities. "But we aren't in Narnia, or the Wood Between the Worlds or anything like that." Because it's impossible, even if it makes the most sense. "Let's get to that campsite." With soaking wet shoes and socks. Good job, Alex.

Alex rolls his eyes. "I'm trapped in a forest with a fucking fairytale prince. Seemed worth ruling out. Just to be sure."

Except they don't have rings, apparently, so maybe it's not ruled out anyway.

Henry makes a noncommittal noise. They haven't ruled it out, they've just managed to get wet socks. He doesn't point that out. Instead, he starts shuffling them slowly toward the campsite again, doing his best not to rush Alex.

They don't go very far before Alex is talking again. He can't stand the quiet, and Henry might not be his favorite person or even someone he likes, but he's the only one here.

"And what the fuck even is a Turkish delight? They make such a big deal about them and I've never so much as heard them mentioned outside that book."

Henry spends their shuffling steps trying to describe Turkish delight to Alex's continued skepticism, and they continue to compare various candies and snacks as they make their way to the campsite because naturally Alex can't simply let silence stand. He surprises himself to find that he doesn't really mind.

There's no obvious movement when they arrive at the campsite.

"Hello?" he calls out.

The list of people who would have kept chatting with Alex about nonsense without telling him to shut up is pretty short. Even June and Nora have their limits, though he's pretty sure they'd put up with him in a situation like this, when everything is so complicated and weird already that adding silence to it would push him over the edge.

He wishes to hell they were here with him, but he's surprised to find Henry's an okay substitute. He really expected that snooty Henry of all people would have no interest in humoring him.

It's possible he misjudged Henry. A little bit. He's still an asshole, of course, but maybe a tolerable one. And he does have the fucking Prince Charming thing down cold.

Alex frowns around the campsite as they approach. "If this is a dead end I'm throwing myself back into that pool."

The flap in the largest tent opens and a man in a form fitting black and blue suit steps out. He isn't wearing a mask, and his eyes widen in surprise when he sees them.

"Oh," he says. After slightly too much of a pause, he adds, "Hi."

Henry raises an eyebrow at him. Well, the surprise on his face suggests that he's probably not the kidnapper. He clearly doesn't expect to see them. "Hello," he says again. "Any idea what's going on?"

What the fuck is that guy even wearing? Alex isn't sure if it's leather or spandex or what, but it's super tight and formfitting and like, wow it's hard not to stare. The outfit seems practically made to be stared at. It's so tight and Alex isn't even sure how much of what it's, um, accentuating is what's actually under there but if it is... damn. Like, is that even allowed?

His fingers dig into Henry's arm a little harder, and he tugs at his collar. Why is this weird-ass forest so damn warm?

"In before 'world's shittiest comic con.'" He waves at the guy's whole... everything. "Should we have brought costumes too? Cause, like, dibs on brown Captain America."

Dick takes a moment to squint at Alex in confusion because what is he even talking about before turning to look at Henry whose words seem actually relevant to the situation.

"Yeah," he says slowly. "But you might want to sit down before I explain it. It's pretty hard to believe. And that's coming from me." He gives an awkward half smile, gesturing over at a wooden table surrounded by benches. "I'm Dick."

"I hardly think either of us will faint once you tell us what's going on," Henry says, frowning slightly. Still, Alex needs to sit down anyway. He's almost certainly tired of leaning in him at this point. He guides him carefully toward the benches. "It's nice to meet you--you really go by Dick?"

Really? Seriously??

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